3/6/95

We were up in the mountains for a weekend getaway. I had left the kids with my girlfriend and picked you up at work. As we drove up the roads, it began to flurry, steadily coming down harder until we arrived at the cabin. It was just a little place that a friend had told us about a long time ago, and finally we had decided to take the time together to go up and stay.

We made dinner together, watching the snow fall outside the kitchen window. While I set our plates on the tablecloth on the floor in the living room, you kindled a fire in the huge fireplace. We shared a bottle of wine, and giggled, thinking back to that New Year's Eve so long ago, when we shared our first bottle - bad champagne! We talked about us, without having to worry about the kids or the phone ringing.

When next we looked out the window, we saw that the snow had stopped and the sky was clear and bright with stars. We bundled up and decided to take a walk together, just down the way a piece, to see the stars and enjoy the crisp night air. It was so cold outside, we felt the snow crunch under our boots, and I couldn't resist anymore.

I picked up a handful of snow, molded it in my small hands, and threw it at the back of your coat. You turned around smiling, and bent down, swiftly scooped up a large handful, and threw one at me. Soon we were giggling and tossing snow at each other like two little kids. Our faces were bright red from the cold, but we weren't cold at all. You helped me up, and we brushed each other off as best we could, and left the road to walk in the woods a while.

I don't know how long we walked hand in hand, silently, before we came upon a large clearing. You motioned me to be quiet, and you pointed. In the clearing, on the far side, was a pure white wolf. It was alone, and I thought it was strange, but just as I was about to say something to you about it, you pointed again, to the other side of the clearing. There, coming out of the pines was a coal black wolf, and he was approaching the white wolf. Not knowing much about wolves, I didn't know if this was a good thing or not. I know there are certain breeds of animals that don't mix well. But as the black wolf approached, the white wolf didn't move. The black wolf nudged at the white wolf, and we watched them appear to "dance." Then they romped off into the pines together and I watched until I could see no more of the white wolf's tail.

We both realized that we had been crouched in the snow a long time, and we were cold. You helped me up- my leg had fallen asleep - and we hobbled back in the cold to the cabin. When we got inside, you stoked the fire while I pulled out the blankets from the cupboard for the bed. We curled up together under the covers, and began talking about what we had seen. The part that was so odd, was that, when we first met, we had talked about our personas if we had been animals. I had always said I was a white wolf, and you had said you were a black wolf.

Sometimes you have to wonder about the signs you see. I think that was us dancing in the clearing, and we were someone else, watching the relationship as it bloomed way back then. I won't ever forget seeing those wolves in the clearing with the only light being the stars up above - the very stars that I made wishes upon as a child for a man to love me like you do.

Jennifer Kelbaugh

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